Bad TheoryHammer: Kommandos
(Imaj Kredit: Wargamer.com)
Oi, ya gits! It's time to lissen up and figger up how to proply krump things wif your Boyz and stuff. Yes, this is a challenge. We gonna talk like the big boyz and get down to bizness and stomp on stuff!
So, wat we go? We got a bunch of big boyz with good stuff and amazing other stuff. We can just put a Choppa on anyone and go "Know what? I'm gonna choppa your hed off" and that's good. We iz tough. We iz green. We iz never defeated because if we wins, we win. If we dies, then we're ded, so that don't count. If we legz it, we can come back for another go, so that don't count neither.
Operatives
Nob
(Imaj Kredit: Coolminiornot {Cool Mini})
Da Nob is da Boss. He gets da best of stuff and he beats anyone who says otherwise He comes up with da best plans, like shouting WAAAGH! right before you krump the pinkies instead of way before. He also has a really big thing for whackin' stumpies and a big blasta. Maybe a Power Klaw so he can squish those panzies? I don't know, it's what he wants! WAAGH!
Slasha
(Imaj Kredit: Reddit)
I don't know what to tell you. Dis boy ain't roight He thinks no dakka is enuff dakka and there ain't anything like enough dakka. But he's ded killy. Maybe he has something going on in his mind wat makes him think slashas is enuff dakka? It hurts me hed to think about it.
Breacha
(Imaj Kredit: Reddit.)
Dis boy is disrespectul. He don't care what walls mean. He don't care what anything mean. He gonna come punch you in the face and yell OH YEAH like he was painted red. But he ain't red because he don't go fasta.
Snipa
(Imaj Kredit: Ebay)
Who da Gork tought Orkz to shoot? Dis boy will ruin your whole life if he has a good spot to look at. Mork sez he is too kunnin'.
Dakka
(Imaj Kredit: Ebay)
Now dis Boy has it rite. He knows when dere is enuff dakka. Never. He does all the dakka. And then he dashes because dere ain't no reason to get filled whole of holes because you did enuff dakka!
Burna
(Imaj Kredit: thebrushbrothers.blogspot,com)
Oi, this git don't know wot dakka is! Instead he carries around a bunch of tanks and burns stuff! Wot does he tink he iz? Dakka goes dakka, not FOOM! Still 'ez ded killy and does a good job.
Rokkit
(Imaj Kredit: Reddit)
Know wot'z better than DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA? THUMP BOOM! Dese boyz bring da heat (not like da Burna Boyz, other type of heat) and dey can turn one of dem boxy boyz into a barbecue in a krump. You wants these boyz on your side.
Grot
(Imaj Kredit: Warhammer400000.com)
Never takes your eyeses off a Grot. Dey are sneaky. Dey are tricksy. Next ting you know, they up on some humie building blowing up something. Dat's where dey're good.
Bomb Squig
(Imaj Kredt: Lexicanicum)
Wanna have a laff, boyz? Take a squig, stuff 'em full of blowy-up stuff, and send 'em runnin' at those ovver lads! It'll sure scare them, rite? And besides, ain't like we don't have enuff Squigs!
Komms
(Imaj Kredit: Ebay)
So dis Boy is basically da Nob'z personal buttwiper. 'e exists to shout things louder for him and to be a 'orrible nuisance, but you want 'im anyway. And yes, my Ork accent is evolving. It's hard to keep it up!
Note: Not talking about the Base Boyz 'ere.
Equipment
I'm going to be a little brief here. Sorry.
Choppas are amazing. If yoo 'ave a choppa, den yoore ded killy. Specially a shiny choppa. Always have a choppa.
Ropes are also really, really good, cuz sometimes yoo don't wanna climb a wall but yoo need to get up!
Ploys
Kommandoz are sneaky gitz and dere Ploys make dem more sneaky. All the Strategic ploys are good. Just putting dat out there. Not much reason to say somethin' bout them.
But JUST A SCRATCH? HOLD UP THE GORKAMORKA! You smack me in da face wiv a heavy thunder hammer and I get to say no? Dat's amazing.
Sneaky Git is also gud because it is Deep Strike and dat is awesome. Yoor Snipa or Dakka Boy just got bonuses!
Stratagems
Dis is where da Boyz have trubble. Dere ain't many good strategems for them. Take dere own and maybe Inflitration?
Sample Roster and Kill Team
I am not doing this now. That's stupid. You take all the Specialists and fill things out with Boyz that will never be on the Kill Team period. And yes, I lost the accent.
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